Fun Times with Kirsten

I have so much to update on, but since my eyes are heavy and I want to take a quick nap while Kirsten sleeps, I'm just going to post these two videos that are super adorable! Enjoy!

Giveaway - Very Cool Stuff

Well I just found out about this giveaway through my friend's blog. This gal, Shey, is giving away some fabulous stuff! I am totally in love with these scrabble pendants from HomeStudio. All I can say is WOW, I want some. That is just one of the great things you can win during this giveaway. Now yesterday was the final day, but I think you can still enter between now and Monday. There are also some other great things you can win. Another one of my favorites is the beanies from the Portland Beanie Co. If I had tons of disposable income, I'd be buying lots of these for Kirsten!

Times of Refreshing

Well it's been a bit since I've posted and I realize that I need to update folks on the weekend away at Snow Camp. I was feeling quite nervous about going, seeing how I would be taking my 4 month old daughter 3 hours away from home into a totally different setting, surrounded by teenagers all weekend! Thankfully God calmed my heart, especially after talking with a few friends, and I realized that I really needed to go. And I am very thankful that I did. Here's a rundown of the weekend and a little about what I learned.

Friday afternoon: We left the church around 3:30ish, and Kirsten had eaten and was quite happy. 3 girls piled into my car along with Kirsten and I, and I knew it would be a fun ride. Kirsten did well for a while, but around Skowhegan began to fuss and cry. I figured I'd stop at a gas station or something, but I passed the first one only to realize that there were NO MORE to come! Thankfully she calmed down and we got to another gas station in about 15 minutes. There I had fun trying to nurse her in the backseat of the car while everyone ran inside to get a snack. Back on the road again, and she fell asleep for a while. But about 1/2 hour before we arrived, she began to cry, and she continued to cry - no, SCREAM - for most of the rest of the ride. Once we got to Blueberry Mountain, I was so relieved, especially when I was able to just drive up the hill without having to wait for everyone to switch vehicles, etc. As soon as she was out of the car, the crying stopped and she was happy! Yay! Friday night consisted of FOOD - yum - and then an evening devotional, followed by night sledding. I got Kirsten to sleep around 9 and then I went to bed by 10 cause I was exhausted!

Saturday started with morning personal devotions, meal, morning group devotional, then outside for sledding. Kirsten did great all day on Saturday and took naps like a pro in her pack 'n play which was in our separate room. Scott even gave me a chance to go sledding while he watched Kirsten! That was super fun. The evening was not as smooth, but it wasn't horrible. Scott did a neat devotional in the evening and had everyone do a lectio divina. I ended up staying in my room after I got Kirsten to sleep to do this. The reading we did was Matt. 6:25-34. God really spoke to me during this time, and the theme that I was hearing was "DO NOT WORRY." It is so easy for me to worry about little things, as well as big things. And I think I have allowed worry to steal the joy and peace that God wants me to have. I am very thankful for that time of prayer and that I was able to sense God speaking directly to me through that scripture.

Sunday was our final day, and we had another morning devotional time. During this time Scott had each of us write a note of encouragement to each other, and although it took quite a while, I think it was a great idea. It gave everyone something to take home with them to remind them of the love and encouragement that we should each share with each other as Christians. After that we had lunch and then we headed out on the road. Kirsten did great on the way home and was very entertained by the 2 girls in the back with her.

Overall, the weekend was a blessing to me. I have a hard time just stopping and doing nothing, and being out in the sticks with no internet, no cell phone, etc, really forced me to do this. One scripture that caught my attention this weekend was Acts 2:19b: "so that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord." I thought that phrase "times of refreshing" was really powerful - that is what God wants for us in our relationship with Him! He wants us to be refreshed in His Spirit. I am thankful I was refreshed - I think God knew I would need it, especially given the kind of week I am now having. (More on that later!) Now I just pray that I can continue to seek Him and enjoy His presence every day and not just wait until another weekend away.

Kirsten Being Cute

Learning About Myself

Becoming a mother forces you to learn more about yourself... both the good and the bad. One thing I've been learning about myself lately is just how independent I really am. I'm not sure if independent is even the right term. What I'm referring to is actually more of my need to have time when I am just by myself - just me, nothing and no one else. And as a mother, I am realizing that those times are very few and far between. Sure, I have times here and there, when Kirsten is sleeping, or when I go to work, etc. But there is always something that needs to be done, something else that I am responsible for. And what I realize that I crave, especially when I'm stressed, is time to just sit and do absolutely nothing.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a mom and I wouldn't give up my girl for anything in the world. And I realize that other people probably have the same desires that I am talking about. For me, I feel like it's actually part of my makeup as a person. I am naturally an introvert, even though I love hanging out with others. I've always been someone who has to work hard at getting to know others - it doesn't always come naturally. And while I love parties and hanging out with people, I gravitate towards those I already know or have something in common with. Sure, I've chosen career paths that involve people, which is kind of funny for an introvert. In my job, I work with kids & adults, and in my business I interact with others on a daily basis. So perhaps the reason why my internal desire to sometimes just be alone is even higher is that now I've added a little person in my life that basically needs me 24/7.

While I realize that part of this is a healthy need, I also recognize that deep down, I am a selfish person. I want to do what I want, when I want. I hate having to give things up. I don't enjoy having to plan my day - or not plan my day - around another person. Becoming a mother has forced me to recognize I need to learn a lot more about being selfless, rather than selfish. I want to learn about giving up what I want for the sake of someone else. Learn how to care more about someone else's needs than my own. Another thing that changes when you become a mother is our relationship with your spouse. As I learn to be patient with my baby, I must also learn to show patience & love to my husband. Boy I am glad that God is not done with me yet!

Kirsten Update

Kirsten is doing such a great job of holding her head up for longer periods of time now when she is on her belly. I love this pic of her staring at her octopus!

Another thing Kirsten is doing is reaching for and even holding on to some of her toys now. She especially loves her giraffe. She sometimes manages to grab it, and it immediately goes to mouth. She's sucking everything these days..
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Kirsten also enjoys sitting up. Of course, she can't sit up on her own yet, but she likes to be propped up in that position. She also likes to "read" - this night she was actually grabbing the pages and turning them, as well as eating them : )

"I Told You So"

The following little incident took place about a month ago, but I totally forgot to blog about it. So here goes:

Recently we had a lot of mice taking over our house, and we finally decided to buy some traps instead of letting our cat catch them, only to let them go. We discovered this mice problem when I was getting some chocolate chips and walnuts out from my cabinet and found the bags with lots of little holes and bites in them! ICK! (Note: I then was inspired to completely clean out that bottom cabinet, get rid of any food that may have been touched by the mice, as well as anything that was expired - so it was sort of a good thing!) So we set the traps with some peanut butter and placed them safely under the kitchen cabinets where the dogs and cat could not get to them, of course. We always knew when a trap had caught a mouse because our [capable of drug-sniffing] dog would be sitting right in front of the spot with her nose pressed against the cabinet. Quite funny, actually.

So one morning when we came downstairs, we discovered Mia staring at the cabinet, and we knew there was another dead mouse. Scott got the trap out and sure enough, there was Mr. Mouse. So sad. Of course, Mia & Moxie were all excited and quite interested as Scott picked up the trap. Kirsten and I observed, and she was quite amused at all the commotion. Well, as Scott was getting ready to take care of the mouse, he wondered aloud what would happen if he held it up for Mia and Moxie to "look at." I said, "Well I think that Mia would just grab it - she's pretty quick." However, Scott chose not to heed this advice and instead attempted to show them the mouse. He held it slightly above their heads, and before you could say "boo", the mouse AND the trap were inside Mia's mouth! At this point, I think I said, "I told you so."

Scott then proceeded to attempt to get the mouse away from Mia. Let me tell you, when she has something in her mouth that she wants, she DOES NOT give it up easily. Other dogs, like Moxie, will let you push down on their lower jaw enough for you to remove the item. Or they will respond to a command such as "leave it." Not Mia. She is very adamant about holding on to things that she likes. The one way that we often get her to leave things alone is, oddly enough, by telling her to "sit." Somehow, that triggers an obedience nerve in her brain and she usually drops the item out of her mouth. I believe this is how Scott got the item from her, although I had to walk away in exasperation as Scott ate his words...

I only wish I would've had the video camera!

My Two Valentines

Today is Valentine's Day, and it has been a great day. I woke up earlier than I would've liked by one of my valentines... my dear Kirsten wanted to be awake at 6am. Thankfully, she was content to lay beside me and look around, and only required an occasional interaction with me. So, I was able to close my eyes for a bit longer. Well once Scott was awake we had fun just chilling out and watching Kirsten with all of her faces. Then I gave Scott his gift, which was an album full of pieces of cards that Scott has received as youth pastor at CCOD. It is something that hopefully will encourage him each time he looks through it. Scott then gave Kirsten & I our gifts, which were PJs for both of us : ) He said he's starting a new tradition, and that's a lot coming from a guy who doesn't really like traditions! So Valentine's Day will be PJ Day in our home. Scott also got me a movie that I really love: Dan in Real Life. I'm looking forward to watching it again soon.

Since Kirsten got up so early, she was back asleep for a nap by 9:00. That allowed Scott & I to have a nice breakfast of pancakes together. Then we got ready for the day as Kirsten napped for quite a long time! I was able to get my budget figured out for the rest of the month, plus finish my grocery list. Once Kirsten woke up and I fed her, I headed out for the day to do groceries and some other shopping. The grocery store was mobbed - not sure exactly why, but thankfully I survived. Then I went to Kohl's since I had heard from several people that their baby section had huge clearance sales going on. Well, I was NOT disappointed! In fact it was rather scary that I went there! I got several items for our girl, most of which are 12-24 month sizes. The most expensive item I bought was $7.50! That was for a winter coat that was regularly $50.00! It was quite exciting to find so many good deals, and these are things that I won't need to buy for her later on because we'll have them.

I was hoping to catch a nap in the afternoon but was unsuccessful because of timing issues. But I did make a splendid dinner for Scott and I, consisting of this scallop recipe, along with roasted potatoes and asparagus. And, if I must say so myself, it was DELISH! After this, my mom came to babysit Kirsten so that Scott & I could go out. We went to see Sonja from church play with a jazz band at a local theater - Next Generation Theater which is located inside Between Friends thrift shop in Brewer. It was a lot of fun, and we got some yummy dessert while we were there as well.

All in all, a good Valentine's Day!

Very Sad Story

Ok, I don't want to be a downer. But I just heard about this story today and I am so saddened. In a nutshell, a mother left her twin babies on her bed while she prepared supper. (Note, these are about 1 month old babies). And, apparently her dogs had access to the babies. One of the dogs (a husky) ended up killing one of the babies. The dog took it off the bed and out into the hallway. It's unclear whether the baby was crying and that's why the dog went to it or what. Anyway, I am just outraged. Unfortunately the dog is being blamed, of course. But honestly why would a parent leave their babies in a place where the dog(s) could get to them? As a mother with 2 dogs, I make sure that my dogs are NEVER left unattended around Kirsten! That would be so stupid. I know that my dogs would not do anything to purposefully hurt her, but they could very possibly do something by accident! And most likely this dog was simply doing something instinctual - if the baby was crying, the dog may have been trying to take it to the owner. Or the dog may have just thought this was a toy. I know that Mia and Moxie have been very curious about Kirsten and at first really didn't know what to think.

So while I definitely think that this is the mother's fault for leaving the babies unattended, I also do feel very badly for her. I cannot imagine the guilt she is experiencing. If anything ever happened to Kirsten and it was something that I could have prevented, I would feel awful. And we are all human, and we do make mistakes. But please, if you own a dog, please make sure you don't leave your baby with the dog unattended!!!

New Wrap

So Sarah, my dear creative genius friend, who previously made me a great baby sling, gave me yet another gift yesterday. This time it's a baby wrap modeled after one of the most popular ones out there. But it's basically one long piece of fabric that you wrap around you in a certain way and then put the baby in. It's totally comfy and Kirsten really seems to like it. I had her in it this morning at church and she fell asleep, and stayed asleep for quite a while in it. So cozy. Plus, it's totally hands free and I don't have to try and support her, even if I bend over! So, here's a photo of the fabulous gift:

Favorite Faces

These are some of my favorites of my girl. It's amazing how that smile makes me feel happy down to my toes.

Where have all the good baggers gone??

Today I took advantage of my awesome friend Amy who babysat Kirsten while I worked from 9-2. After work I called her to find out if she was cool with me doing my groceries before picking Kirsten up, since grocery shopping without a 3 month old tends to be much faster and easier than with one! So I did my best to get through Hannaford as quickly as possible and without spending a fortune (I succeeded only at the first task). As I was checking out, one of life's unanswered questions came to my mind again: "Where have all the good baggers gone?" I remember the days when the bagger smiled and asked you how you were doing. Then they intelligently bagged your groceries and put them in your cart. Sometimes they even asked you if you needed help out to your car. Instead, this is how it went:
No personality bagger boy bagged my groceries similar to how a 4 year old would. Oh no, I take that back, I know some toddlers (namely the very organized Natalie) who could have done a better job. He put cans in with cereal boxes, bagels in with jars of pasta sauce, and so on. I think the only thing he did right was put all the veggies in the same bag. Then when he put the stuff in the cart, it somehow took up at least 50% more space then when I had them in the cart (this is probably due to his inability to group like items together). Finally, no personality bagger boy walked away without a simple "have a nice day" while leaving medium personality checkout boy to hand me the last bag of groceries. So I am supposed to be putting away my receipt, carrying my purse, and finding somewhere in the overloaded cart to put my last bag. Oh the joys. Anyway, I thankfully made it out without too much trouble, but as I tried to load my car with the randomly loaded grocery bags, I found myself wondering what happened to the good baggers of the old days??? Don't even get me started on customer service!

Ever Had One of Those Days???

Ever had one of those days when...

• You want hummus with your chips but your husband ate the last of it...
• Your baby sleeps only in 20-30 minute chunks all afternoon and evening, so you can essentially do nothing...
• You get a lot of "no's" and feel that you must be doing something wrong...
  
• You have a fight with your husband about money because he wants to buy another camping accessory...
  
• You fall asleep on the couch at 9:45 and decide to go to sleep early that night since your hubby got your baby to sleep (which partially redeems the earlier fight), but once he puts her down at 10:15 she wakes up so all chances of sleeping are gone until after midnight...
• Your little one then thinks it's time to get up for the day at 7am on a Saturday... and you feel like crap with a big headache and just want to have ONE NIGHT of uninterrupted sleep...
• You attempt to go out to eat at 4:30 in the afternoon and there's a 40-50 minute wait, which is too long when you have a 3 month old sleeping baby...
• You come home and have PB&J instead...
• You feel like everyone else's life is somehow better than yours even though you know you have so much to be thankful for...
• You can't seem to get out of this funk...

My answer: YUP. I've had one of those days. Or two, or three. But, somehow, I am reminded of the simple things. The important things. As Scott holds Kirsten tonight while I'm begrudgingly making my PB&J sandwich, I look over at her as she coos, and she gives me this sweet smile. And I realize, LIFE IS GOOD.

Updates

Well I haven't blogged in a bit so I figured I'd give an update. It's not going to be real coherent as my brain is a little tired after working today. But here goes:

• Water Pressure: We FINALLY have both water PRESSURE and HOT water! It's amazing, and I feel like I'm in heaven. Monday our plumber came and fixed the last few issues and got the heat working upstairs again. Woohoo! It was expensive to get all of this done, and I'm thankful that I got a great business paycheck this month which allowed us to pay cash rather than using credit or emergency funds. Praise the Lord! So now we can take hot showers and it doesn't take 20 minutes to get wet... plus I can take baths - oh, how I've missed having baths! And doing dishes is no longer an extremely long process.
• Kirsten: She's now 12 weeks old! I can't believe it - time is going by quickly. One of the funnest things she's been doing lately is lots of coos and gaas and all kinds of cute noises. She's especially "talkative" in the morning (and sometimes the middle of the night). Speaking of the middle of the night, the other night I fed Kirsten and then went to the bathroom myself. When I came back up, she was mostly asleep again and I wasn't going to bother changing her diaper. Then I smelled something... something not good. So, I unwrapped her swaddle, and saw a big green stain on her sleeping gown. When I lifted the gown up, I saw green poo all over her leg! Oh, it was not good. I very delicately removed her gown while Scott helped by wiping off her leg. Then I changed her diaper as quickly as possible. Wow, the things you see as a mother. That was definitely a good one. Anyway, Kirsten continues to provide tons of joy as well as sometimes frustration and tears... but thankfully we are getting into more of a groove lately, it seems. She's sleeping pretty well at night and rarely needs to be picked up and rocked/walked back to sleep after eating. She usually just drifts back into lala land with a gentle patting, which is fabulous for mommy. And she is beginning to realize that the bottle is not the devil, and it's okay to drink from it. Today she took 1.5 oz while I was at work - not much, but it's better than nothing at all! Then tonight she ate 4 times between 5:15 and 10:00! Yeah, she missed mom I guess. : )
• Other stuff: Scott & I went on a date this past Saturday night. It was a wonderful time to get out of the house together and focus on each other. It is definitely a challenge to do that now, and we want to be intentional about staying connected to each other. So Scott planned the evening and I didn't really know what we were doing. We left the house at 5:00 (Scott's parents generously babysat for us) and headed to town. Scott informed me that we'd be going to a movie at 6:20, so we didn't have a ton of time for eating. After discussion, we called the Texas Roadhouse to find out the wait time. 45 minutes. Okay, that won't work. Then we decided to head to the Olive Garden. On the way there, I suggested checking out the Longhorne Steakhouse since we'd never been there. Once inside, we realized that wasn't gonna work out: 60-75 minute wait. Alrighty then, let's head to the Olive Garden as originally planned. I didn't even bother finding out the wait time there - the entryway was so full I could hardly find a way to get through the crowd. Finally, let's check Applebees - a favorite of Scott's, and one where I can always find something I like. 30 minute wait. But by that time it was 5:30, and with a 30 minute wait, we obviously wouldn't be making our 6:20 movie (Marley & Me, which our previous attempt to see had been sold out, and I really wanted to see this). So at this point I am starting to feel rather disheartened, and almost in tears because this is our one chance to hang out together and I was looking forward to a nice meal & time to talk. We left Applebees and tried to figure out what to do. So, we finally ended up eating pizza at Little Ceasars in KMart. Okay, not the most romantic thing, but certainly memorable. We had about 10 minutes to chow down in order to head to the theater in time. Once at the theater I had visions of our previous attempt to see this movie with Steve & Jess: the line was extremely long and the theater looked packed. Thankfully, though, most people were there to see Mall Cop instead, and we got into our movie without a problem. I had just enough time to go to the bathroom before the movie started. Steve & Jess had warned us to bring tissues, and I did (well, actually napkins from Little Ceasars), and it was a good thing. I loved the movie and I think it made be cry even more because it seemed like so much of what happened was basically where Scott & I are at right now. The whole process of starting a family and feeling like you're losing yourself, not really knowing what you want to do when you grow up, etc. All stuff we have felt or are feeling currently. Not to mention the relationship with the dog - me being a dog person, I could totally relate to that. Well I don't want to spoil it for anyone, but I highly recommend the movie. Although I wouldn't take young children even though it's rated PG.

Okay, I need to go to bed. Really a lot. Tonight I took some time after I put Kirsten down to fold laundry and watch LOST since I missed it Wednesday night. But now it's really time to SLEEP before she wakes up for another feeding!

The PRESSURE!

Oh, the pressure! Not the pressure of being a mom, paying the bills, or getting places on time. No, that's not the pressure I'm referring to. It's the water pressure! URGH! Ever since we moved into our house (5 years ago this month), we have had water pressure issues. I've been able to adjust and manage for most of those 5 years. And it's not just the pressure - it's also the temperature. Not so hot. So last fall, my mom was here helping prepare for our new little arrival, and she was appalled at both the pressure and the temperature. So my stepfather helped out and got the temperature thing fixed - apparently all we needed to do was turn up the mixing valve to totally hot. Anyway, that also helped the pressure issue for a while because it was SO HOT that we had to add in cold to take a shower, wash dishes, etc. And the cold has lots of pressure.

But recently, like in the past 2 weeks, the hot water has become worse than EVER before! It's a trickle. Seriously people, a trickle. Like it takes over 45 minutes for the washing machine to fill up for a SMALL load of hot. And taking a bath... forget it! Definitely over an hour and even then it's not even half full. So your ankles might be covered with water, but nothing else.

So once again, mom to the rescue! She talked to a plumber that she knows and he is over here right now. Who knows if he'll be able to fix anything - but the good thing is that he is charging us a lot less than he usually does. Big help! Anyway, I'll keep you posted on the pressure issues... I'm praying for a miracle because I'd really like to take an actual shower that is both warm AND having pressure (rather than the choice of a scalding hot trickle vs. freezing cold full pressure)!

Oh the decisions!

As a new mother, there is one thing we are never lacking - advice! Be it unsolicited or not, there are always plenty of opinions to be shared by others who have walked this road before us. Of course, most of the time this advice and opinions are shared in the most well-meaning manner and with the desire to simply help the sleep-deprived, exhausted new mom like myself! As a new mom, we have to weed through all the advice and figure out which things we want to use, and what we want to perhaps discard, or what things we want to file away for "later use."

So this post needs a disclaimer: In the following paragraphs, I am in no way attempting to demean or criticize others who have chosen to use or not use the methods I will be mentioning. I realize that parenting is an extremely personal process and each person has their reasons for the choices they make. So in this post I am simply going to be sharing some of my personal choices and preferences and the reasons why I am making these choices. I am not attempting to create a debate, although am always open to a healthy exchange of ideas.

Decision #1: Schedule or no schedule? As a new mom freshly home from the hospital, I was overwhelmed with the task of taking care of this little baby. And part of that was figuring out whether to develop a "schedule" for Kirsten or not. There are some books, such as Babywise, which advocate using a schedule for your newborn. Many other moms that I know have recommended this book or at least the concept of putting your baby on a schedule. While my personality and lifestyle is generally pretty scheduled and organized, I have decided against this concept with my baby. Part of the reason is that I want to be sure to be focused on my baby's needs and not my needs. If I were using a schedule, I believe it would primarily serve my own need for structure, etc. The other reason is that I have read and researched a lot and found some reasons not to follow this method (www.ezzo.info.com). Another reason that this schedule concept is promoted is to get the baby to "sleep through the night." While it seems that people have different thoughts on what that actually means, most of what I have read indicates that this means a 5-hour stretch. Again, I have to consider whether sleeping through the night at this young age is serving my own needs or my baby's needs. There are studies that show that a young baby shouldn't go excessively long without eating, especially breastfed babies. So I don't feel an urgency to have my baby "sleep through the night" because I want to make sure she is eating when she needs to. That's not to say that I don't absolutely enjoy when she does sleep a longer stretch (which, by the way she has been doing even though we haven't been doing a "schedule"). But it's not my ultimate goal to get her to "sleep through the night" anytime soon. Even we adults don't typically sleep through the night - we wake up or are in lighter states of sleep throughout the night, but we quickly fall back asleep.
In all of this I believe there is a balance. I am choosing to create a routine based on my baby's needs. But I will not attempt to have set times for eating, napping, etc. I will follow her cues and recognize when she is getting hungry, tired, etc and help her get what she needs.

Decision #2: Feed on demand or on a schedule? Another decision is the question of feeding "on-demand" or based on a schedule/time frame. I determined early on that I wanted to breastfeed on-demand. This is recommended by the American Academy of Pediatrics as well as La Leche League. Again, I believe that my baby knows when she is hungry and it doesn't really matter to me if it's 20 minutes or 3 hours after her last feeding. Another reason a schedule is promoted is to make sure our babies don't comfort nurse or "snack". Again I have to ask myself - is this about my needs or my baby's needs? If she comfort nurses, is there really something wrong with that? I actually enjoy the emotional connection during nursing and knowing that she is feeling safe, secure, and loved when she nurses. And why not have a snack? I know that I wouldn't enjoy it if someone planned my day out and told me I could only eat within certain time frames, even if I just wanted a little snack.

Decision #3: To let cry or not? Another challenge is figuring out whether or not to let your baby cry. This can apply to various situations, but the main one people think about is whether to let the baby cry before falling asleep vs. holding/rocking/wearing the baby to sleep. The argument on the "cry-it-out" side is that baby will learn to fall asleep on their own and develop the ability to self-soothe. And if the baby is not hungry, wet, or otherwise in pain, then it's okay for them to cry. The other side says that you should respond quickly to the baby's cry, and that babies often need help to fall asleep in the form of walking, rocking, etc. I have made my decision based on two things: 1. The research I've checked into - many articles and studies show that babies left to cry (even for a short time) may experience trauma and learn that their needs will not be responded to consistently. Sure, they probably will fall asleep eventually - but what do they learn in the process? Do they actually learn that they are safe, secure, and loved and it's okay to fall asleep? Or do they learn that crying, their only form of communication, will not result in a response? Here are some of the sources I've checked out:
-Dr. Sears Article on Sleep Problems
-Mothering Article
-Storknet Article
-Children Need Touching
There's lots more, of course, but those are some that I found helpful.
2. My gut. You know people tell you to trust your gut. Well there's something that just tells me to respond when my baby girl cries. Even if it's when she's going to sleep and I know there's nothing major wrong - perhaps she just wants to be held, comforted, etc. I know there's times when I want that even though I can't pinpoint what I'm crying about it - I just want to be held. So my choice is to help Kirsten get to sleep until she is old enough to be able to go to sleep on her own. At this age, I don't believe that her crying is manipulative and I don't think I can spoil her by responding to those cries.

Obviously, as I stated at the beginning, all of these things are a very personal choice and also something that I believe is a learning process. Five years from now, my ideas may have and probably will have changed. Overall, as for right now, my approach leans towards the Attachment Parenting method. This method makes a lot of sense to me and a lot of the concepts are things that I think I would have been inclined to do anyway. So, feel free to comment, criticize, engage, whatever! It probably won't change my mind but you never know...

2 Months into Motherhood...

Well, I am now a little more than 2 months into motherhood... and it's hard! I always knew that being a mom would be a HUGE challenge and that I would need to learn so much. I guess I just didn't realize how big of a challenge it would be, or just how much I really need to learn. In honor of my friend Amy's blogging honesty, I thought it's time for me to share some of those challenges that I've had lately. Let me preface this by saying that my daughter is so beautiful, a gift from God, and I am so thankful for her. But assuming that you all know that I love her deeply, here are the hard parts:

• I have been commited to breastfeeding Kirsten since before she was born. I knew I wanted to for so many reasons - the health benefits for her, the bonding, the fact that it's free, etc. The first few weeks were definitely hard, and I wasn't sure if she was getting the right latch, etc. I also experienced a lot of pain and wasn't sure if that would get better. We got through the first couple weeks, and at her 5 week appt. she had gained almost a full 3 lbs, so I know she was getting what she needed! However, the challenges of breastfeeding have continued. Here are a few other examples: sometimes she refuses to eat on my right side, which leads to engorgement and then needing to pump, etc. Sometimes she latches and then comes off and SCREAMS and won't relatch. Sometimes she just won't eat at all for several hours (like up to 6 hours) and I get worried that something is wrong. She almost always screams when I attempt to burp her in the middle of a feeding, but if I don't burp her she almost always spits up a lot. So there are moments when I think, "Is this really worth it?" and I feel like giving up.
• I am generally a very driven, organized (at least in some areas), scheduled person. I like to accomplish things and have "success." I was always a straight A student and graduated college summa cum laude. Having a baby, however, has been the hardest thing I've ever done - not just the labor, but the actual day to day experience. I often times find myself at 4 in the afternoon, still in my PJs, surrounded by piles of laundry, paperwork, dishes, etc - all undone. I find myself walking Kirsten - holding her or in her sling - yet unable to do much else because the moment I stop moving, she starts crying. I find myself thinking, "I just want to sit down! I just want to read a book, take a nap, catch up on blogs, shower, or even EAT! When will I ever have time for myself again???" Selfish, yes, but nonetheless those are my thoughts at times. I am learning that I have to give up on a lot of my "to do" lists and just allow myself to be focused on my most important task - caring for and loving my baby girl.
• Kirsten is overall a challenging girl, it seems. She has her happy moments, usually more so in the morning. She does smile, and sometimes I can sit with her and play or read a book when she is awake. And I can put her down on the floor or in her swing IF she is in a good mood, and she might be content for 5-10 minutes. However, the majority of the time, I am needing to walk with her, hold her, etc in order for her to be happy. This is especially true when it comes to sleep. She gets extremely fussy before going to sleep, and really needs mommy or daddy to help her off into lala land. I am okay with this, because I know she just spent 9 months having 24/7 contact with me. So I don't expect her to be able to go to sleep on her own yet or not need a little snuggling. However, it does get exhausting and even frustrating at times, especially when she SCREAMS before going to sleep (which happens almost every night and sometimes during the day as well).
  
• Having a baby also puts a strain on your marriage. I feel less able to attend to Scott's needs now that I have this little one, and that makes me feel guilty. There are also days when both of us are stressed, lacking sleep, and we end up getting upset with one another over little things. Sometimes one of us needs a break but the other is not really wanting to help out. And we don't necessarily always agree on approaches, so we also have to resolve how we are going to do this whole parenting thing. It's hard, and I don't know how people do it who don't have Christ in their lives or in their marriage. Much of my day (or night for that matter) is spent uttering small prayers about the situation at hand, whether it be Kirsten not taking the bottle from Scott, or me just being overtired and cranky, to not knowing what is bothering Kirsten when she is screaming and not knowing what to do to help her. It is a GOOD THING that I have God to turn to or else I probably would go crazy, for real.

Well, I am now realizing that it is late and I need to sleep!!! Kirsten is asleep, thanks to my WONDERFUL husband who told me to just relax as he got her to sleep tonight. So I better head to bed before she wakes up and needs to eat again.

Our Christmas Letter

This year I am opting for a "virtual" Christmas letter for a couple reasons. One is to save money on ink and paper, and the other is it's just a lot easier! So for all of you who received your Christmas card with a note to check our blog, welcome! I hope you enjoy our letter.

Dear Friends & Family,
As we celebrate this Christmas season, we want to keep the focus on the real meaning of Christmas. During this time of year, we celebrate the coming of Jesus to this world and bringing salvation to all of us. Somehow, in the midst of the shopping, traveling, cooking & baking, the real message of Christmas gets lost. In light of keeping the focus on the simple things, we want to share with you the top 10 things we are thankful for in 2008.
1. Our Lord & Savior, Jesus Christ. Without His birth, the world would've never known a savior. Without His death & resurrection, we would not have the ability to have a relationship with God. We are thankful for our salvation and peace that Christ brings to our lives.
2. Our beautiful new daughter, Kirsten Jael. We found out we were pregnant at the end of February, and we were very excited. I was blessed with a healthy pregnancy and no major issues other than just the normal aches & pains of carrying an extra 25-30 lbs! Kirsten joined us on October 29 at 2:28am, and we couldn't be happier. I was blessed with a great midwife and a supportive doula during the labor, and Scott was absolutely amazing as well. After all that hard work, I was so excited to finally meet my sweet baby girl. Kirsten means "follower of Christ" and Jael means "power of God." The first two months with her have been a time of joy and tears, and we are gradually learning how to be parents. Once again, we are thankful for God's grace in this experience and we are realizing that we don't have to be perfect!
3. Our amazing parents - Gary & Holly and Cathy & Paul. Throughout the year, we were attempting to finish our remodeling as well as prepare for having a baby. Our parents provided so much help, love and support, and we are so grateful for them.
4. Our church family - We are so blessed to be a part of Community Church of the Open Door. This year has been a year of growth and change at the church, as we have rearranged the sanctuary, gone to one service, changed youth group to Wednesday nights, and started small groups. It has been a lot of fun, and we have enjoyed the various changes. October was Pastor Appreciation Month, and since Scott is the youth pastor, we received so many cards and gifts from our church family. It was so amazing to feel the love and appreciation and we were humbled to receive so much that we do not deserve. Several people from the church were also a great help in preparing the house for Kirsten's arrival.
5. Our extended family - We were able to go camping on Labor Day weekend with my sister and her husband, Naomi and Rich. We headed out to Mt. Blue State Park where we camped and hiked (yes, I hiked Mt. Blue at 7 and 1/2 months pregnant). It was so much fun to hang out with them and relax. Then during Thanksgiving they came up to visit and meet Kirsten. We also are thankful for Grammie Diane and Grammy Lawrence, who both live locally. In addition, we're thankful for Scott's sister Rachel and her two kids, Eli and Lindsay. It is fun to see them, especially now that they have a little cousin to take care of. Then we have Grandparents Harvey and Grandparents Pier who are all very special to us, along with all of our aunts and uncles and cousins.
6. Our wonderful friends. We have been gifted with so many great friends, both locally and around the country and world. This year it's been fun to be pregnant along with Shannon as well as Sarah. Peter & Shannon welcomed their second daughter to the world in June, and Sarah & Jason welcomed their first daughter at the beginning of December. I am sure that Kirsten will become friends with these girls as they are all so close in age. Our friends Steve & Jess have been the hosts of the small group we attend, which has been so fun, and they have also provided tons of help on our house this year. And it's been wonderful to have our friends Kevin & Amy return to the area after their 3 year stint in Pennsylvania. Kirsten will definitely grow up with many "aunts" and "uncles."
7. The youth group kids at CCOD. Although they are part of the church, we have a special affection for the junior and senior high teens. We have had fun on the many events and trips with them this year. In March we had Snow Camp at Blueberry Mountain, and had the biggest group ever. It was so much fun to go sledding, play games like "Signs", and help them grow spiritually. Scott led a group of guys on "Man Camp" - an outdoor camping experience with "no frills", and the kids also went on a paintball trip (I didn't go due to my pregnant belly!). We also went on a college trip with juniors and seniors in September, which was a ton of fun. Finally, we closed out the year with our annual Christmas parties, complete with a Yankee Swap in which the kids had to bring an item that they had either found or made instead of spending money on it. Then they donated money so that we could pool it together for a gift through World Vision.
8. Our home remodeling being finished! I am sooooo glad that we are FINALLY done with our remodeling project in the living room and dining room. We started this LAST fall, and did not get done until this fall - a full year. But now it looks just lovely, and there are just some finishing touches to be completed, such as putting up blinds and pictures.
9. Our funny pets. Yes, it's true - I am thankful for our two dogs and one cat. Mia and Moxie never leave us bored - they are always up to something. They really enjoy being outside, especially Moxie. They both love hiking, and when we hike they usually go up and down the mountain about 4x the amount that we do - they run way ahead and then come back to us, over and over! Kira's favorite activites are sleeping, chasing mice, and finding things to bat around on the floor. She especially loves to play with things she's not supposed to have, such as pacifiers or candy.
10. Our jobs & business. During this difficult economic environment, we are thankful for stable jobs and a growing business. Scott has enjoyed being the youth pastor at CCOD and is celebrating his 3rd year there. I have been at FACT for over a year now, working as a part-time foster care case manager. I have taken 10 weeks off to be with Kirsten, but I will be going back in January about 10 hours a week at first. I am thankful for a very flexible boss and wonderful coworkers. Finally, we are thankful for my business which has been providing us consistent income this year, even when I took an entire month off after Kirsten was born! We also enjoyed visiting Salt Lake City for the first time for my business convention. It was nice to have 5 of my team members join us there as well!

Well, thank you for taking time to read this epistle! I hope you enjoyed a small window into our lives during 2008. We look forward to an even better 2009! Please drop by from time to time to check out our updates. Also, Scott and I are both on Facebook, so if you are on there, please add us as your friends!

Have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Baking Christmas Cookies

One of my favorite Christmas traditions is baking Christmas cookies & snacks. Every year I make molasses cookies, one of my faves from childhood. And I also make caramel corn. These make great gifts for friends & family. So today I tried out a new recipe for sugar cookies. I've not done sugar cookies in a long time, so I searched the internet for a recipe and found one that looked good. So, here's some pics of my experience. They came out exceptionally good and they were super easy! I'm including the pic of the recipe so feel free to copy & use!

Mommy Moments

Well I am finally having a chance to sit down and blog. It's been a while! Anyway, as of yesterday Kirsten is 6 weeks old. I am in awe of how much she has changed and how much we are experiencing in these days and weeks. There are joys and challenges every day. I am learning to take things one day at a time, or even sometimes one hour or minute at a time. Here are some of my favorite moments with Kirsten so far:
-Laying in bed at 5am with her after she finished eating and seeing her eyes widen as she looks around. Then seeing a big smile come across her face as I make funny noises with my mouth. Then seeing several more smiles and funny looks as she just enjoys the moment.
-Having her snuggled up on my chest falling asleep... as I often fall asleep with her : )
-Seeing her lift her head up and look around while she lays on her belly on the floor... then watching her peacefully drift into sleep.
-Watching Scott hold her as she looks happy and content in his arms.

And, then there's some of the challenging moments:
-When we get up out of bed in the morning and try to get ready for the day... but she cries whenever she's not being held and walking around, so breakfast or anything else is not an option until she is asleep or willing to lay down on her own.
-When she cries as Scott tries to feed her the bottle... and cries, and cries, and cries, until finally we give up and she breastfeeds just fine.
-We're awake from 3:30am until 6:00am, with periodic spurts of crying, screaming, eating, and finally sleeping...
-When we are driving in the car and she is just screaming, and there is nothing I can do to help her calm down.

Here are a couple of my favorite photos of Kirsten recently: