My Fortune

I like Chinese food. It's yummy. Sometimes I buy it. A few weeks ago, I stopped by a new Chinese place on Main St in Bangor. I got what I usually buy - Chicken Chow Mein with Pork Fried Rice and a side of Teryaki Beef. It wasn't the best Chinese food I've had, but it did the trick of curing my immediate hunger pains.

The most interesting part of the meal was the fortune cookie. Now, while I find any "dessert" that doesn't involve chocolate to be proposterous, I still usually eat my fortune cookie. When I opened mine up, I found the most absurb fortune ever: "You love Chinese food." It made me laugh, along with everyone else that was sitting around watching me eat. What kind of fortune is that anyway? You bought the food, so of course you like it! It's not a fortune at all, it's simply a statement of the obvious. I mean, it's not that I put any faith in the "fortunes" in fortune cookies, but come on - it should at least be something that makes me wonder... "You'll meet a true friend today" or "Your truest friend will betray you"... be creative already!

So, to whoever writes those fortune cookies, here are a few suggestions:

• Find a way to incorporate chocolate into Chinese food desserts.
• Don't simply state the obvious in the fortune cookies.
• Or, if you do state the obvious, make it funny. ("You'll be hungry 1 hour from now").