Baby Thoughts

The reality that I am having a baby is starting to set in. There is a crib in my dining room, I've started to feel the baby moving (woohoo!), and people are always asking me how I'm feeling. For a while, I didn't really feel pregnant. I knew it in my head, but it just didn't seem real. Now, with the expanding waistline and the fact that I can feel the baby from time to time, things are setting in.

As I have read on my friend Amy's blog lately, it is important that we be honest with ourselves and others on these issues. So I have to say, the whole concept of motherhood is quite scary to me. I have, for a long time, loved working and playing with kids in the 2-4 year old age range. And even now, those ages are much more appealing to me than newborns. While I love newborns and they are so cute, I have never been the person to run over and oooh and ahhh over newborns. So the fact that I am going to have one on my own is a little scary. I know everyone says, "Oh, it'll be different when it's your own," and I know that is true. But the fact is, I will still be dealing with the screaming in the middle of the night, changing diapers, nursing, and needing to watch the baby every waking moment (and probably many sleeping moments as well).

I am thankful that God built in 9 months to prepare us for motherhood. I don't think I could do it if it was just 2 or 3 months. At this point, though, I am almost half-way there - 18 weeks now! So I still have time to adjust to this whole idea - but not that much time. I am thankful that I don't have to be perfect and that God will give us grace as we learn.