Learning About Myself

Becoming a mother forces you to learn more about yourself... both the good and the bad. One thing I've been learning about myself lately is just how independent I really am. I'm not sure if independent is even the right term. What I'm referring to is actually more of my need to have time when I am just by myself - just me, nothing and no one else. And as a mother, I am realizing that those times are very few and far between. Sure, I have times here and there, when Kirsten is sleeping, or when I go to work, etc. But there is always something that needs to be done, something else that I am responsible for. And what I realize that I crave, especially when I'm stressed, is time to just sit and do absolutely nothing.

Don't get me wrong - I LOVE being a mom and I wouldn't give up my girl for anything in the world. And I realize that other people probably have the same desires that I am talking about. For me, I feel like it's actually part of my makeup as a person. I am naturally an introvert, even though I love hanging out with others. I've always been someone who has to work hard at getting to know others - it doesn't always come naturally. And while I love parties and hanging out with people, I gravitate towards those I already know or have something in common with. Sure, I've chosen career paths that involve people, which is kind of funny for an introvert. In my job, I work with kids & adults, and in my business I interact with others on a daily basis. So perhaps the reason why my internal desire to sometimes just be alone is even higher is that now I've added a little person in my life that basically needs me 24/7.

While I realize that part of this is a healthy need, I also recognize that deep down, I am a selfish person. I want to do what I want, when I want. I hate having to give things up. I don't enjoy having to plan my day - or not plan my day - around another person. Becoming a mother has forced me to recognize I need to learn a lot more about being selfless, rather than selfish. I want to learn about giving up what I want for the sake of someone else. Learn how to care more about someone else's needs than my own. Another thing that changes when you become a mother is our relationship with your spouse. As I learn to be patient with my baby, I must also learn to show patience & love to my husband. Boy I am glad that God is not done with me yet!

Kirsten Update

Kirsten is doing such a great job of holding her head up for longer periods of time now when she is on her belly. I love this pic of her staring at her octopus!

Another thing Kirsten is doing is reaching for and even holding on to some of her toys now. She especially loves her giraffe. She sometimes manages to grab it, and it immediately goes to mouth. She's sucking everything these days..
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Kirsten also enjoys sitting up. Of course, she can't sit up on her own yet, but she likes to be propped up in that position. She also likes to "read" - this night she was actually grabbing the pages and turning them, as well as eating them : )

"I Told You So"

The following little incident took place about a month ago, but I totally forgot to blog about it. So here goes:

Recently we had a lot of mice taking over our house, and we finally decided to buy some traps instead of letting our cat catch them, only to let them go. We discovered this mice problem when I was getting some chocolate chips and walnuts out from my cabinet and found the bags with lots of little holes and bites in them! ICK! (Note: I then was inspired to completely clean out that bottom cabinet, get rid of any food that may have been touched by the mice, as well as anything that was expired - so it was sort of a good thing!) So we set the traps with some peanut butter and placed them safely under the kitchen cabinets where the dogs and cat could not get to them, of course. We always knew when a trap had caught a mouse because our [capable of drug-sniffing] dog would be sitting right in front of the spot with her nose pressed against the cabinet. Quite funny, actually.

So one morning when we came downstairs, we discovered Mia staring at the cabinet, and we knew there was another dead mouse. Scott got the trap out and sure enough, there was Mr. Mouse. So sad. Of course, Mia & Moxie were all excited and quite interested as Scott picked up the trap. Kirsten and I observed, and she was quite amused at all the commotion. Well, as Scott was getting ready to take care of the mouse, he wondered aloud what would happen if he held it up for Mia and Moxie to "look at." I said, "Well I think that Mia would just grab it - she's pretty quick." However, Scott chose not to heed this advice and instead attempted to show them the mouse. He held it slightly above their heads, and before you could say "boo", the mouse AND the trap were inside Mia's mouth! At this point, I think I said, "I told you so."

Scott then proceeded to attempt to get the mouse away from Mia. Let me tell you, when she has something in her mouth that she wants, she DOES NOT give it up easily. Other dogs, like Moxie, will let you push down on their lower jaw enough for you to remove the item. Or they will respond to a command such as "leave it." Not Mia. She is very adamant about holding on to things that she likes. The one way that we often get her to leave things alone is, oddly enough, by telling her to "sit." Somehow, that triggers an obedience nerve in her brain and she usually drops the item out of her mouth. I believe this is how Scott got the item from her, although I had to walk away in exasperation as Scott ate his words...

I only wish I would've had the video camera!

My Two Valentines

Today is Valentine's Day, and it has been a great day. I woke up earlier than I would've liked by one of my valentines... my dear Kirsten wanted to be awake at 6am. Thankfully, she was content to lay beside me and look around, and only required an occasional interaction with me. So, I was able to close my eyes for a bit longer. Well once Scott was awake we had fun just chilling out and watching Kirsten with all of her faces. Then I gave Scott his gift, which was an album full of pieces of cards that Scott has received as youth pastor at CCOD. It is something that hopefully will encourage him each time he looks through it. Scott then gave Kirsten & I our gifts, which were PJs for both of us : ) He said he's starting a new tradition, and that's a lot coming from a guy who doesn't really like traditions! So Valentine's Day will be PJ Day in our home. Scott also got me a movie that I really love: Dan in Real Life. I'm looking forward to watching it again soon.

Since Kirsten got up so early, she was back asleep for a nap by 9:00. That allowed Scott & I to have a nice breakfast of pancakes together. Then we got ready for the day as Kirsten napped for quite a long time! I was able to get my budget figured out for the rest of the month, plus finish my grocery list. Once Kirsten woke up and I fed her, I headed out for the day to do groceries and some other shopping. The grocery store was mobbed - not sure exactly why, but thankfully I survived. Then I went to Kohl's since I had heard from several people that their baby section had huge clearance sales going on. Well, I was NOT disappointed! In fact it was rather scary that I went there! I got several items for our girl, most of which are 12-24 month sizes. The most expensive item I bought was $7.50! That was for a winter coat that was regularly $50.00! It was quite exciting to find so many good deals, and these are things that I won't need to buy for her later on because we'll have them.

I was hoping to catch a nap in the afternoon but was unsuccessful because of timing issues. But I did make a splendid dinner for Scott and I, consisting of this scallop recipe, along with roasted potatoes and asparagus. And, if I must say so myself, it was DELISH! After this, my mom came to babysit Kirsten so that Scott & I could go out. We went to see Sonja from church play with a jazz band at a local theater - Next Generation Theater which is located inside Between Friends thrift shop in Brewer. It was a lot of fun, and we got some yummy dessert while we were there as well.

All in all, a good Valentine's Day!

Very Sad Story

Ok, I don't want to be a downer. But I just heard about this story today and I am so saddened. In a nutshell, a mother left her twin babies on her bed while she prepared supper. (Note, these are about 1 month old babies). And, apparently her dogs had access to the babies. One of the dogs (a husky) ended up killing one of the babies. The dog took it off the bed and out into the hallway. It's unclear whether the baby was crying and that's why the dog went to it or what. Anyway, I am just outraged. Unfortunately the dog is being blamed, of course. But honestly why would a parent leave their babies in a place where the dog(s) could get to them? As a mother with 2 dogs, I make sure that my dogs are NEVER left unattended around Kirsten! That would be so stupid. I know that my dogs would not do anything to purposefully hurt her, but they could very possibly do something by accident! And most likely this dog was simply doing something instinctual - if the baby was crying, the dog may have been trying to take it to the owner. Or the dog may have just thought this was a toy. I know that Mia and Moxie have been very curious about Kirsten and at first really didn't know what to think.

So while I definitely think that this is the mother's fault for leaving the babies unattended, I also do feel very badly for her. I cannot imagine the guilt she is experiencing. If anything ever happened to Kirsten and it was something that I could have prevented, I would feel awful. And we are all human, and we do make mistakes. But please, if you own a dog, please make sure you don't leave your baby with the dog unattended!!!

New Wrap

So Sarah, my dear creative genius friend, who previously made me a great baby sling, gave me yet another gift yesterday. This time it's a baby wrap modeled after one of the most popular ones out there. But it's basically one long piece of fabric that you wrap around you in a certain way and then put the baby in. It's totally comfy and Kirsten really seems to like it. I had her in it this morning at church and she fell asleep, and stayed asleep for quite a while in it. So cozy. Plus, it's totally hands free and I don't have to try and support her, even if I bend over! So, here's a photo of the fabulous gift: